Wednesday, April 28, 2010

One day at a time - Erin here

Haven't been able to sleep lately. Not sure why, mind is in overdrive and won't slow down. Haven't been adding to the blog as Bill has been doing quite well really, but I have a funny feeling all is not right. Outwardly Bill is still the same, always positive, always upbeat, but during our quiet times I'm sensing he's starting to withdraw a little bit, not telling me everything. He's a quiet guy anyway, but the silence is deafening just now...can't put my finger on it, just doesn't feel right.
I'm hoping I'm just suffering from a little bit of overtiredness and reading too much into things.
Have been corresponding with Rick and Joan Frewster in Canada who are travelling the same road as Bill and I, reading their blog (which they keep updated regularly) and emailing little messages to one another they are an amazing couple and I draw strength from their strength. What I hadn't anticipated was while I am drawing strength from them I am also seeing what may lie ahead for us and its brought home to me how things can change in an instant with MND. I have researched myself into the ground with this disease and intellectually know what is to come, Bill has chosen not to look too far forward and just takes one day at a time and I respect that. But I need to know, sounds terrible because it isn't about me, but its kinda backfired on me. I think because I have come to know Rick and Joan albeit via email and lil notes, it has become personal and I'm feeling their pain right now. I've read other's blogs but hadn't ever corresponded with them, so I guess I'm just feeling really sensitive in the quietness.
Going to take the next few days to still the "revolving door" of a brain I have right now, make sure that Bill is okay, pick myself up and carry on fighting the good fight.
Erin


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Erin and Bill,
Your openess of heart has really touched us....We appreciate your kind words so much but we also have drawn strength from you both! Your notes of encouragement on the blog and your emails always seem to come at just the time that we need them the most.

We count you as close friends even though we have never met face to face. We are all in this together and are proud to be your Canadian long distant friends. Thanks so much for opening your heart to all of us and allowing us to walk with you guys on this journey! We really wish we could have met you guys under non ALS circumstances!!!
You are a very special couple!!!!Rick and Joan